


Bona Fairies

by localfreak



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Round the Horne
Genre: Comedy, Gen, M/M, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-31
Updated: 2008-12-31
Packaged: 2020-09-06 22:49:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20299213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/localfreak/pseuds/localfreak
Summary: Draco Malfoy always gets the best and newest toys from his doting parents, but Narcissa has her doubts about this one...





	Bona Fairies

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 12 Days of Christmas Challenge, 2008.

“Hello, I’m Julian and this is my friend Sandy.”

“Oh how bona to vada your dolly upturned eeks once again, quite warms my heart it does.”

“Mm me too.”

“Pray silence, for the speaker of the evening, Mr Julian M. Lestrange.”

“Settle down, all your omees and palones, and I will tell you a great tale, a tail (sic) so great and huge and mighty why it could knock your breath away.”

“Knock your breath away,”

“A tale of heroes”

“Heroes”

“And conquerors.”

“Norman, his name was, and very easy on the eyes.”

“And great deeds.”

“We’ve seen a few o’them in our time, haven’t we ducky?”

“Our hero in this tale, is a mighty and upright young ome called Cyril.”

“Cyril?”

“Yeah, Cyril Pennyfeather.”

“What kind of a name is that for an ‘ero? Cyril Pennyfeather indeed.”

“What’s wrong with it? Personally I think it’s quite refined.”

“Well that’s all very well ducky but you don’t want a hero to be refined!”

“You…don’t?”

“No- he needs to be an ome who is butch and wild and rugged, with piercing ogles and a strong jaw and long, flowing riah-“

“Ooh yes!”

“And an eek that’d make all the omes and palones swoon when it was turned upon them.”

“Oh yes. I see. He’d need to have a name that’d be butch and masterful and rugged!”

“That’s right!”

“Alright, how about Jerome?”

“No no! Something stronger, something that’d make your lallies all aquiver, something like….Rocco or Hank or Max or Bruce.”

“Ooh, Hank! I like it. Me lallies are aquiver at the thought of it.”

“Mine too.”

“I think that’s quite enough of that,” said Narcissa Malfoy firmly, shutting the enchanted box. “They shall have to go back to the shop, Lucius, I know Draco wanted fairy tales at bedtime but these two are giving him some very odd ideas. You must demand a refund.”

“Yes, dear.”


End file.
